I have been away for awhile. Went on vacation and then moved to a house. I love it. Lots of changes in my life...except for one that I really want and another that I really don't want.
I am still not pregnant. It keeps happening all around me, but not TO me. Sucks. Oh well. Everyone keeps saying to me that it is going to happen soon..but I just don't feel it. I don't get excited about it. I am almost comfortable with never getting pregnant. And that scares me. Not only just about not being pregnant or having kids but the fact that I am getting to that point that it doesn't hurt. I think I am just becoming numb. Nothing to look forward to. Nothing to yearn for.
On the other side, my parents moved today. They moved to Oklahoma. It is only 3 hours away. I know, I know. Could be worse...could be a lot further. 3 hours isn't too bad. All things that I have heard before...all things that I have said to myself before. But it still hurts. It saddens me that I will not be able to drive by their house and see my daddy puttering around in the garage. Or catch my mom as she comes home from getting her nails done. Or be able to call her on a Saturday morning and see if she wants to spend the day shopping...just me and her. Or have family dinners on Sunday afternoons. No more family dinners. No more family. Just me and Jeremy. I love my husband dearly...but I am so lost without my parents. I need them...I have never been so far away from them. It is so hard. I don't think that it has really hit me yet. The first day that I drive by their house and see a strange car in the driveway I will have a breakdown. That will be a fun day.
Well that is the recent news from my corner of the world. Tears, tears and more tears. Pretty soon it will be a flood.
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2 comments:
Hey chica! Thought I would come give you some comment love. Here is some Kleenex...cry all you want. (((HUGS)))
Check out my blog if ya want...its naughty though. Link is posted.
Im warning you now though. You might not like me anymore.
I live so close to my mum now for the first time ever in my adult life...there are some benefits in living a little further, when you visit it will be for hours , maybe even overnight and you make the most of every moment. It's horrible to feel so lonely right now though, I hope things look up really soon.Helen.
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