She looks in the mirror and sees her naked body reflected back. Her belly bulging, her breasts sagging, the fat on her arms hanging down, and her thighs tightly pressed together.
"No wonder you are all alone." The thoughts ring in a whisper over & over in her head. An evil echo that cannot be silenced. She paws at her head, willing the words to stop. She silently cries as she knows she will never hush the voices that taunt her with her deepest fears. All alone. Forever. Nothing but darkness in her life.
She glances up at the mirror and sees the tears that fall down her cheeks. The mascara forming lonely black rivers down her plump cheeks. Her deep brown eyes reflecting the fear and loneliness that rings inside her hollow shell. She can barely see through the tears, but her eye catches the darkness that frames her body from behind. Slowly, she turns to see what hides behind her. Her eyes search, but they see nothing. Waiting for a moment, she chokes back the fear and allows time for her site to adjust to the complete dark that has taken over. She soon finds out that site cannot adjust to complete black. No light shines through, no break in the color, no redeeming site to find. Only black. Black & complete darkness surround her.
The fear she held back started to well inside her chest. The tears came in waves. She gasped for breath...her only sign of life. She reached out her hand, hoping & praying to feel something. Anything that would regain her confidence that all was not lost. She prayed to God to allow her some comfort. She didn't pray for a door or a window or a small ray of light. She didn't pray for rescue or help...just a wall. A wall that says she is at least somewhere in this world. Not floating in the midst. She prayed to be grounded on this earth so that one day she could wake up from the nightmare and see those she loves once again.
She continues to feel through the darkness, stumbling along praying for something. Anything. She cannot be all alone in nothing-ness. She is no where, with nothing around. She remembers the mirror. Even though she felt worthless, at least she didn't feel totally alone. She was able to be with herself and see something. She whips around, full of hope that there is a redeeming grace behind her. The mirror is gone. She is met with complete darkness yet again.
She cannot understand. Where did her world go? What happened to her? Once upon a time, she was happy and the world was sunny. She could smile and mean it. There was no self doubt, no feel of failure, no feeling of complete uselessness.

She finally gave up searching. Her arm was tired from all the stretching and her heart was tired from all the yearning. She curled into a ball and accepted that this was her fate. She was alone in this world. She was here for herself and herself alone. No one will help, no one will rescue. No one will connect with her. The tears began to fall as the realization set it. She was truly alone. Alone in the dark, with only her tears and thoughts to keep her alive.